"Well, You Can Always Have a Third"

And other things people have actually said to me when they heard I was having a second girl.

You’ve probably seen the viral videos of gender reveal parties gone awry. A man storms off, a mom-to-be frantically tries to smile the tension away, and pink (instead of blue) confetti floats down around them. There’s a decidedly ‘50s vibe to it, but the first gender reveal party was only in 2008.

As we make slow progress toward equality, new traditions pop up that reinforce gender norms. One of my favourite feminist academics, Cynthia Enloe, talks about how the patriarchy is stunningly adaptable. It finds new ways to reinforce certain ideas about masculinity and femininity, and in the age of curated Instagram aesthetics, it’s no wonder gender reveals have exploded into a cultural phenomenon. Entire industries now revolve around creating increasingly elaborate reveals, from fireworks and balloon drops to cakes and confetti cannons. But beneath the fun and theatrics, these activities highlight a rigidity around how we expect our children to behave - or, perhaps, a deeper discomfort with what shifting gender roles mean for us as adults. And so old-fashioned ideas about gender continue to find new ways to surface in modern life.